Monday, May 28, 2007

maher moment

it's been a while since I had a chance to catch bill's show, finally had an opportunity this weekend to watch the may 25 show. good thing I learned the show is now on hiatus until august 24. no bother, during the summer who has time to watch tv!

in my 'maher moment' postings I have yet to highlight the 'visual interludes' bill does each week. I don't know what he calls these segments, but that's my name for them. every show bill and his team go off on something or someone with a bit of visual humor - most often they make fun of some political or cultural absurdity by creating hilarious book titles or headlines for magazines, tabloids or newspapers. this week inspired by john edwards recent witty and accurate comment where he stated that "The war on terror is a bumper-sticker not a plan," bill and his group created a set of bumper-stickers that president bush can put on his cars. unlike most of the visual interludes these do alright translating to the mouse:

Lose wars now
Ask me how

Ask me about my illegal wiretapping

If you can read this you are qualified to be attorney general

Practice random acts of violence

I'd rather be waterboarding

I may be the worst president ever,
but I'm in front of you

speaking of bush being the worst president ever, in bill's closing monologue he mentioned that jimmy carter actually remarked during an interview that he believed the bush administration was the worst in history. of course carter got into 'trouble' with calling it as it is, but this leads me to perhaps my favorite maher moment from the show. again my completely unofficial transcript:

....(Carter's) remark hurt George Bush's feelings and we know when you hurt George Bush's feelings, you hurt America's feelings. And when you hurt America's feelings you hurt the truth. And when that happens Tinkerbell's light goes out and she dies.

As for Carter's assertion I was up all night on wikipedia doing an exhaustive study on former presidents. While other presidents have sucked in their own individual ways, George Bush is like a smorgasbord of suck. He combines the corruption of Warren G. Harding, the warmongering of James Polk, and the abuse of power of Richard Nixon.

Nixon got in trouble for illegally wiretapping the Democratic National Headquarters, Bush is illegally wiretapping the entire country. Nixon opened up relations with the Chinese, Bush let them poison your dog.

Herbert Hoover who was literally named after a machine that sucked sat on his ass through four years of depression. But he was an actual engineer so if somebody told him about global warming he would have understood it before the penguins caught on fire.

Ulysses S. Grant let his cronies loot the republic, but he won his civil war.

Harding sucked, but he once said 'I'm not fit for this office and never should have been here.' So at least he knew he sucked. He never walked off stage like Bush does after one of his embarrassing language mangling press conferences with that smirk on his face (saying) 'like nailed it!' Or maybe that's the look you get when you have a showdown with the democrats and you win like he just did with Iraq. You don't become the worst president ever without a little help from the other side.....

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