Tuesday, April 17, 2007

maher moment


two moments stand out during the most recent show and let me say right off the start neither dealt with the imus ignominy! not unexpectedly my preferences are those 'moments' that further expose the fact that the emperor has no clothes - or in the case of the most recent show, how the emperor's soldiers have no armor. with respect to this, bill shared the following information about the military: 1) the army will now ask soldiers to increase their tour from one year to 15 months (to which bill quipped "this is what they call supporting the troops"), 2) the four week training program in iraq specific activities has been reduced to just 10 days, 3) 20% of new recruits have no high school diplomas, 4) twice as many recruits are getting waivers for committing felonies compared to 3 years ago, and 5) there is no longer a "ready brigade" - a group of soldiers who are ready at a moments notice to be dispatched to a emergent 'hot spot.' bill concluded his indictment of the current state of affairs by noting that retired general and former secretary of state colin powell has declared that "the active army is broken."

bill's guests included former u.s. senator bill bradley, scott mcclellan (a former bush press secretary and died in the wool bushite) and comedian dana carvey. as a follow-up to bill's laundry list of military woes, bradley wisely remarked: "A country that rules the world but doesn't want to abide by the rules, has got a foreign policy that is unsustainable at home and unacceptable abroad. Iraq is the biggest foreign policy mistake in my lifetime - it dwarfs Vietnam. The latest casualty in Iraq is our US military"

mcclellan attempted to divert the discussion by espousing the 'bush party line' - however carvey saved the day by offering what might be considered an excellent solution. "I like what Andy Rooney said, however underreported (and in a perfect andy rooney voice) 'its tragic that war's on the shoulders of the young, war should be fought by old people, they're about to die anyway, why should it really matter....'"

bradley returned the discussion to a level of seriousness and offered more wise words: "This is a tragic mistake, the egg has been thrown against the wall, its broken. The only way to deal with this is to admit you made a mistake and have an orderly withdrawal. It's a conceptually flawed policy...you are not going to create a liberal democracy out of three provinces of the former Ottoman Empire that are a figment of Winston Churchill's imagination. You're not going to do it!"

my other 'favorite' maher moment was during bill's closing monologue where he segued from discussing how the concept of elite has been thoroughly undermined and needs to be rescued by revealing that in the bush administration they have gone from the previous standard of using the 'best and the brightest' to now relying on 'dumb and dumber.' he used the resignation of monica goodling (who at 33, with no experience as a prosecutor, was the third highest ranking official in the justice department) to illustrate his point. again, my 'unofficial transcript':
How do you get to the top so fast? Harvard? Princeton? no Goodling did her undergraduate work at Messiah College ...and then went on to attend the Pat Robertson Law School (Regent Law School) ...U.S. News and World Report which ranks schools, ranks Regent as a tier 4 school - which is the lowest score it gives. It's not hard to get into Regent, all you have to do is denounce satan and draw a pirate on a matchbook...would you care to guess how many graduates of this televangelist diploma mill work in the Bush administration? 150! And you wonder why things are so messed up. We're talking about a top Justice Department official who went to a school funded by a TV host... In 200 years we went from the best and the brightest to dumb and dumber!"

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